It’s that time of year again. The days are shorter, the air is colder, and holiday gatherings are just around the corner. For some, it’s a magical time of the year. For others, the shift into late autumn and early winter can bring new loneliness and a stronger desire for romantic connection.
That’s why cuffing season picks up in November: It’s all about having a romantic partner to share the colder months with. But the dating scene is changing. As more young people feel technology burnout, in-person activities and shared hobbies are becoming new ways to meet potential partners and spark a seemingly more genuine connection.
So why are people trading swipes on dating apps for pottery classes or volunteering to remove invasive plants? And what does the changing season have to do with our desire for connection? From the pressures of cuffing season to the rise of “hobbyamory,” we’re exploring the seasonal and cultural trends shaping dating among young adults and what they can mean for mental health.
What You’ll Learn
- What is cuffing season?
- What is hobbyamory, and why are singles dropping dating apps?
- How can seasonal relationships affect your mental health?
- How can you navigate the pressures of cuffing season?
- How can hobbies, friendships, and professional support help you manage loneliness?
Quick Read
“Cuffing season” describes the push to find a romantic partner during colder winter months, driven by loneliness, seasonal mood changes, and holiday pressures. This “cuffing partner” can offer comfort and companionship, but unclear intentions or settling out of loneliness can lead to heartbreak and lower self-esteem. “Hobbyamory” offers an alternative: prioritizing hobbies, volunteering, and personal fulfillment while letting the right person develop naturally, without the pressure of dating apps.
Knowing your intentions, communicating boundaries, investing in friendships, and enjoying your own interests can support well-being. For people experiencing intense loneliness, depression, or seasonal mood changes, access professional support through PrairieCare’s Minnesota mental health services.
What Is Cuffing Season and Winter Relationships?
Cuffing season is when you partner up with (or “handcuff” yourself to) a special someone for the colder months. This period can stretch from November to Valentine’s Day—or even from late October to spring’s arrival in March—with September often seen as the “drafting” phase before this dating trend ramps up.
Data backs up this phenomenon. A Dating.com survey found that 89 percent of Americans said they are open to, or actively seeking, a partner for the colder months. An earlier study also found that of those who reported feeling lonely in the fall and winter, 60 percent used online dating to relieve anxiety or sadness.
Why Young Adults Look for Seasonal Relationships in the Colder Months
Several factors can contribute to the desire for a romantic relationship during cuffing season, including:
- Colder weather and a desire for connection. The anticipation of shorter days and colder temperatures can make staying home common, but they can also make fall and winter feel isolating for singles. A romantic relationship may offer companionship and closeness during this time.
- Seasonal changes and mental health. Loneliness and depression are common among young adults and may become more difficult to manage during the darker months. Reduced daylight can contribute to seasonal mood changes. For some, the emotional support and companionship of a romantic relationship may help with mood.
- Social expectations and comparison. Holiday parties, family gatherings, and social media can create pressure to be in a relationship. Seeing others share holiday moments with their partners may lead some young adults to compare their experiences with others and feel inadequate about being single.
- Family pressure and holiday stress. Returning home for the holidays can mean facing invasive questions about relationship status or future plans. Having a partner may help some young adults feel more secure in social situations and navigate family expectations.
Although this isn’t an exhaustive list of the pressures or changes that can occur at this time, it helps explain why someone may feel more single than usual. While some people look for a romantic partner to help them through the winter months ahead, others are rethinking how they approach dating altogether.
What Is Hobbamory?
Hobbyamory is a new term for a dating and lifestyle trend in which people prioritize their interests, hobbies, and personal fulfillment rather than making romantic relationships the core. The New York Times recently coined the term, and it marks a departure from the overwhelming popularity of dating apps. Hobbyamory instead focuses on pouring energy into enjoyable activities and meeting new people in a way that feels natural, even meaningful.
So instead of prioritizing swiping or going on dates, singles are filling their schedules with dance classes, conventions, or even picking up a new hobby on a whim. And there are even groups that are solving community challenges at the same time.
Locally, the Buckthorn Removal Singles Club in Minneapolis brings singles together to remove invasive plants from community parks. As reported by a news article, more than 50 people attended one gathering to meet new people and contribute to their local parks.
It might seem odd that singles are now looking into invasive plant removal or trying their hand at pottery instead of “typical” dating, but this shift reflects a larger movement among young people.
Why Are Singles Trading Dating Apps for Hobbies?
Dating apps have made it feel easier to meet potential partners, but the experience can feel repetitive and even disingenuous. Hours of messaging and matching don’t always lead to a meaningful connection—and that can be exhausting, or just another thing on the to-do list.
Technology and device burnout may also make real-life experiences feel like a welcome change. One study showed that over three months, dating app users showing increasing signs of burnout. Another analysis shows a higher risk of psychological challenges among people who use dating apps, such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, and emotional dysregulation.
From seeing AI-produced content almost anywhere to online content comparison, it’s no wonder some young people are embracing fun experiences away from a device. As one single person in the Minneapolis area shared about participating in the Buckthorn Removal Singles Club: “In the past when I’ve tried dating apps, I’ve gone into it feeling like, OK, I’m on a date, so I should feel particular things about this person. This is a space where there’s no expectations for how this date is supposed to go and what comes next.”
There can be real benefits, including exploring things that are meaningful to you when you’re single. So hobbyamory could be one way to explore your interests while still connecting with others.
Is Cuffing Good for Mental Health and Healthy Relationships?
Whether cuffing boosts or hinders mental health depends on the relationship’s quality, how upfront both partners are about their needs and intentions, and how well they respect each other’s boundaries. Here are some potential pros and cons to a seasonal relationship:
| Pros of Cuffing | Cons of Cuffing |
| Reduces loneliness, especially for people who are distant or estranged from family | Can cause someone to feel misled, rejected, or heartbroken if intentions aren’t clear |
| Eases anxiety about attending holiday events alone or fully embracing seasonal activities | May encourage incompatible relationships driven by loneliness or social pressure |
| Provides physical intimacy that may lower stress through endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin | Can lead people to lower their standards and enter relationships that have the potential to become toxic |
| Offers companionship during colder months and the holiday season | May lower self-esteem if someone ties their self-worth to being in a relationship |
When approached and handled maturely, cuffing can benefit mental health. But when handled poorly, cuffing can erode trust, cause unnecessary heartbreak, and affect self-worth. Relationships can be complicated, and the pressure of the season can make it tougher, so navigating cuffing season comes with some precautions
6 Ways to Avoid the Pressures and Pitfalls of Cuffing Season
Cuffing season doesn’t have to devolve into a high-drama affair complete with hurtful words, slamming doors, and broken hearts. Whether you look for a winter relationship or sit cuffing season out, keep these things in mind:
1. Understand Your Intentions
Before you jump into a seasonal relationship, get honest with yourself. Think about what you really want and ask yourself:
- Do you need to decide what kind of person you want to date for the next few months?
- Do I only want a partner to show up at holiday parties with?
- Am I looking for a friend with benefits, but nothing too serious?
- Am I seeking a more genuine connection, but need to move slowly?
- What about a long-term commitment later?
Focus on your current needs and goals rather than falling prey to others’ expectations. Knowing yourself and honoring what you want will help you move through cuffing season more gracefully, so don’t settle, and decide how much time and energy you truly want to invest.
2. Communicate Clearly
Before entering a “situationship,” be candid. Tell your potential partner what you want. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that when people feel their partner hasn’t met their openness standards, they experience increased stress levels.
Set expectations to reduce the risk of emotional hurt. Communicate your boundaries:
- Do you want your relationship reserved for holiday events?
- Will your relationship be physical?
- Will you see your partner only on weekends, or during the week as well?
- Do you expect to go your separate ways in a couple of months, or are you open to a longer-term relationship if it feels right?
Make sure you’re on the same page to avoid resentment and heartbreak down the line.
3. Don’t Plan Too Far in Advance
If you’re cuffed for the winter and have been open about wanting a seasonal-only relationship, don’t plan too far ahead. Cuffing season often leads to relationships that break up in spring, sometimes called the Spring Breakup Effect. It’s best to do the following if that’s the case:
- Don’t agree to meet the family.
- Pass on the spring concert tickets.
- Refrain from mentioning you’re looking for someone to go camping with in June.
If your feelings change, initiate the uncuffing conversation early so you don’t blindside your partner. More importantly, avoid giving a false impression going forward if you may not continue the relationship.
4. Enjoy Friends and Family
Focusing on friends and family can be just as meaningful in winter, spring, or smack dab in the middle of summer. If you’re uncomfortable with a relationship that has an expiration date, don’t move forward. Invest time in nourishing relationships that stimulate you and bring you joy.
Enjoy tree-lighting ceremonies with friends. Do movie nights with family. Join book clubs or volunteer for organizations you believe in—connections that can protect your happiness without needing a partner. Fill your calendar with people and events that lift you up.
5. Focus on Yourself
Prioritizing yourself can help you develop a greater sense of self and build emotional resilience. Taking time for yourself can also help you avoid chasing a relationship so hard that you miss your own needs.
Don’t push yourself into a short-term relationship if it feels wrong. Do activities and practices that make you feel whole, like signing up for a yoga retreat, starting a creative project, diving into books you’ve wanted to read, or even making more time for play. You’ll likely approach dating from a more mature, self-assured place next time.
6. Seek Professional Support
If you find that the arrival of cuffing season is triggering extreme mood changes, intense loneliness, depression, or grief, support from a therapist may be more helpful than jumping into a relationship.
A professional can help you clarify what you want, improve communication, and assess which relationship best fits you at this stage in your life. Professional mental health support can help you develop coping strategies and make long-term changes so you feel better year-round, not just for someone else but also for yourself.
Mental Health Services in Minnesota
At PrairieCare, our comprehensive services and programs across Minnesota help young people overcome loneliness and grief, build authentic connections, and work through challenging mental health symptoms. With a professional’s help, patients build a treatment plan focused on clinical and personal goals to support a more fulfilling life.
We offer a full range of services to meet you wherever you are in your mental health journey. From telehealth to full-day programs, we can help you find care that makes a difference. Our team can chat with you to learn what’s going on and recommend next steps, no matter what.
Get started by calling us at 952-826-8475 to have your questions answered and to learn more. Or request a complimentary screening using the button below.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is cuffing season?
- Cuffing season refers to the fall and winter months when people feel more inclined to find a romantic partner or cuddle buddy to share the colder months with. It typically runs from November through Valentine’s Day, driven by loneliness, seasonal mood changes, and holiday pressures.
Why do young adults get into relationships during the winter?
- Shorter days, reduced daylight, loneliness, and holiday gatherings can increase the desire for companionship. Social comparisons and family questions about relationship status may also create pressure to find a partner.
What is hobbyamory?
- Hobbyamory is a dating and lifestyle trend that prioritizes hobbies, personal interests, and fulfillment over making romantic relationships the main focus. It encourages people to explore activities they enjoy while allowing connections to develop naturally.
Can hobbies help you meet a romantic partner?
- Yes. Hobbies, classes, and volunteer activities offer opportunities to meet people with shared interests in a relaxed setting. They also allow you to explore what you enjoy and build connections without the pressure of dating apps.
How do I answer questions about being single at holiday gatherings?
- Be honest about your needs and remember that you don’t have to pursue a relationship to meet others’ expectations. Focus on enjoying time with friends and family, participating in meaningful activities, and setting boundaries around questions that make you uncomfortable.
Is cuffing season good or bad for mental health?
- It depends on the relationship and each person’s intentions. A healthy seasonal relationship can ease loneliness and offer companionship, but unclear expectations, social pressure, or settling for an incompatible partner can lead to heartbreak and lower self-esteem.
How do I know if a cuffing season relationship is toxic?
- Pay attention to whether your needs and boundaries are respected. Unclear intentions, pressure to settle for an incompatible relationship, and tying your self-worth to having a partner can contribute to emotional distress. Communicate openly about expectations and seek professional support like a therapist or dating coach if you’re struggling to navigate the relationship.