Change is inevitable, and it inevitably creates stress. But that’s not necessarily bad. Whether the change is negative (like losing a job) or positive (like graduating from college or getting married), it requires a readjustment of how we navigate our daily lives. And that creates opportunities for growth as well as challenges to overcome.
Change and transition can occupy our minds at any point in time, even if it’s not currently happening. The anxiety and recalibration that change catalyzes—even good changes, like moving to a new house or moving up in your career—can leave us feeling drained or even in need of some mental health support. In a study done with teens and young adults, higher levels of change, including positive change, were associated with depression symptoms.
Since there’s no way to avoid change, how can we embrace it as a springboard for becoming stronger and more resilient?
What You’ll Learn
- Why does change cause stress?
- What is the difference between good stress and bad stress?
- How does the brain react to change?
- What happens when change becomes overwhelming?
- What are effective ways to cope with stress during change?
Quick Read
Change is inevitable and always creates some level of stress, whether it’s positive or negative. It requires us to adjust routines and expectations, which can feel draining and overwhelming. While stress can help us adapt, too much change at once can strain emotional resources and impact mental and physical health.
The brain is also naturally resistant to change and tends to focus on negative outcomes, which can make transitions feel harder than they are. However, stress can be managed and even used for growth through practical coping strategies.
Helpful approaches include getting organized, reframing stress as a challenge, staying grounded in familiar routines, practicing mindfulness, using personal strengths, leaning on support systems, prioritizing self-compassion, and seeking professional support when needed.
Good Stress vs. Bad Stress in Reaction to Big Changes
At its most basic, stress is simply a response to a situation that calls for some type of reaction. Stress is a survival mechanism—it gives us extra energy and increases our focus and performance. Both large and small life changes can trigger the stress response, including:
- The death of a loved one
- Illness or injury
- Moving
- A relationship breakup
- Leaving home for college or having a child leave home
- Losing your job or starting a new one
- Shifting from on-site to remote work or school (or vice versa).
The stress response can be debilitating, both for mental health and physical health, unless we’re able to use it in ways that benefit us. So-called “good” stress is known as eustress—a constructive reaction to change associated with feelings of motivation, energy, and inspiration.
What Happens When Change Overwhelms Our Resources
Experiencing extreme change, or a high number of changes within a short period of time, can tax our emotional resources and our resilience—our capacity to cope constructively and bounce back from the negative effects of stress. This is known as allostatic overload, and it can produce both mental and physical symptoms, including:
- Fatigue
- Apathy
- Languishing
- Increased substance use
- Anger and irritation
- Problems sleeping
- Chronic pain
- Trouble concentrating
- Volatile emotions
- Decreased motivation
- Depression
- Anxiety
How the Brain Responds to Going Through Change
Like us, the brain develops patterns and habits and resists being pushed into new ones. When our daily routines are disrupted by change, the brain’s conflict sensors are activated as it builds new neural networks. Moreover, our brains are wired to give more attention to negative events than positive ones and to find the downside in every situation or event automatically.
This “negativity bias” is a holdover from early human history, when it was imperative to remain continually alert to potential threats to stay alive. Humans who focused on the dangers around them were more likely to survive and reproduce, thus passing the negativity bias to future generations.
Unfortunately, the negativity bias no longer works in our favor; it can be destructive to relationships, mental health, and well-being. To override this tendency, we must consciously work to counteract it. Mindfulness and positive psychology techniques retrain the brain to focus on what’s good in changes and everyday moments through noticing and savoring positive experiences and emotions.
How Can I Cope with the Stress of Change?
Whether or not you’re naturally sunny and optimistic, you can strengthen your resilience and increase your coping ability, no matter what comes your way. Here are ten therapist-approved and science-backed techniques for navigating change.
Get organized.
When we feel out of control, it can be helpful to exert what little power we have. That might mean figuring out the best way to keep track of tasks at a new job, creating an action plan for getting to know the city you just moved to or setting up a new routine for self-care in the wake of loss or a breakup.
Reframe change-related stress as an exciting challenge.
Research shows that when we think about stress as excitement, we perform better under pressure and feel better about the results. Studies involving karaoke singing, public speaking, and math performance showed that people who told themselves they were excited rather than stressed felt more confident and competent during the experience.
Process grief and loss.
To move forward after changes that involve the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a long-term job, it’s essential to acknowledge and process grief. This may include connecting with loved ones who are also grieving, joining a support group for people who have experienced similar losses, and/or accessing help from a mental health professional.
Activate your strengths.
Draw on your unique skills and qualities in order to navigate and reframe the stress that comes with change. Look backward to move forward by recalling what’s worked well in the past when you faced change and putting those strategies into play. In one study of coping strategies during COVID, acceptance, humor, and the ability to reframe stressful situations were all associated with better mental health.
Revisit your comfort zone.
In the midst of change, returning to what’s familiar and grounding can be reassuring and relaxing. That might be a workout, yoga practice, favorite TV show or book, or morning or evening routine. These small moments of stability and continuity can support you through the process of change.
Stay in the moment.
When our nervous systems are on high alert and uncertain about the future, we tend to foresee the worst outcomes. This is where mindfulness can be a powerful intervention for shifting out of the stress response. A regular meditation practice, mindful movement, such as yoga, or simply taking a few deep breaths can help the body and brain come back into the present moment.
Use change as an opportunity to reevaluate.
Research shows that marriage, birth, and divorce rates all increase in the wake of traumatic events, such as a hurricane or a pandemic. That’s because major life changes, particularly those that threaten our health and well-being, often force us to reconsider what matters most. Change can provide a lens through which to reassess one’s values, relationships, and goals, and correct course if necessary.
Prioritize self-care and self-compassion.
During times of upheaval, whether internal or external, spending time in nature, exercising regularly, healthy eating habits, and getting enough sleep, often goes by the wayside, increasing our stress levels. Prioritizing these activities and routines can significantly support our ability to cope with change and negative thoughts while building resilience. Self-compassion is just as important as self-care; it’s proven to help us steer through change more smoothly.
Draw on your support network.
Research shows that our relationships and social connections are the most powerful drivers of happiness throughout our lives, including in times of change. So, when we’re struggling with uncertainty and life transitions, it’s essential to draw on these connections for strength and stability. In addition, it’s not unlikely right now that our friends and family members are also experiencing some form of change, so we can support each other in finding the way through.
Seek help from a mental health professional.
When a life-transforming event significantly disrupts your emotional well-being, a trained and licensed therapist or accredited treatment program can help you move through mental health issues and change into a new beginning and fulfilling future. PrairieCare’s programs for all ages are designed to build resilience and healthy coping skills, and heal trauma related to chronic and long-term stress.
Support for Stress Management in Minnesota
PrairieCare’s programming at various locations in the Twin Cities, Mankato, and Rochester address the underlying mental health conditions that make people of all ages vulnerable to the stress that comes with major changes and transition. Our model of care is designed to build resilience and healthy coping skills for navigating our constantly changing world. The best time to get mental health support is now.
Anyone seeking services can call our team anytime at 952-826-8475 to access a complimentary care questionnaire and ask any questions you may have about starting therapy. You can also request a screening using our form, and within one business day, our team will reach out to you to get started.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I so stressed about change?
- Stress about change is common because it disrupts familiar routines and activates the brain’s negativity bias, making even positive life transitions feel uncertain, overwhelming, and mentally draining. If you feel overwhelmed by stress, you’re not alone.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for stress?
- The 3-3-3 rule for stress is a grounding technique that helps reduce anxiety by naming three things you can see, three things you can hear, and moving three parts of your body to bring your focus back to the present moment.
Why do we struggle with change?
- We struggle with change because it requires mental and emotional adjustment, and when multiple or significant changes happen at once, it can overwhelm our coping capacity—sometimes leading to allostatic overload, which causes fatigue, anxiety, and difficulty functioning.
What is it called when you can’t cope with change?
- When you can’t cope with change, it may be referred to as adjustment difficulties or clinically as Adjustment Disorder, a stress-related condition triggered by major life transitions.
How to manage anxiety during major life transitions?
- To manage anxiety during major life transitions, focus on staying present through mindfulness, reframing stress as a challenge, maintaining small routines for stability, leaning on supportive relationships, and seeking professional help if stress becomes overwhelming.