With so many therapists to choose from, and so many different ways they practice, how do you find the right fit? Leading psychologists from across the Twin Cities share some guiding principles that can help you find the best provider to meet your needs.
So you’ve decided it’s time to go to therapy. Now what? Getting into the room (or on Zoom) with a therapist could change your life for the better. You may be wondering how to find the right person—someone with not only the right skill set but also the right personality to help you with the hard parts of life. A good place to start is to consider where you are right now and to be open to what you’ll discover along the way.
First Things First
“It’s important to think about what you’re looking for,” says Dr. Joshua Stein, child and adolescent psychiatrist and clinical director at PrairieCare. “If you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, try to identify that.” Maybe your relationship feels strained. Maybe you’re less energized by things that once mattered to you. Or maybe the way you’re going through life feels out of sync with your values. Once you start thinking about what you’re struggling with, you can start searching for someone with these things in mind.
Rannon Arch, director of co-occurring clinical services at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, recommends taking inventory of a few things to help guide you toward your best fit. Start by reflecting on what’s been bothering you lately, how those things are impacting your daily life and interpersonal relationships, and how you’ve been coping with all that. He also recommends considering whether you’re looking for short-term problem-solving or longer-term self-exploration. Other considerations might include budget, insurance, scheduling, and availability.
“Before seeking therapy or treatment, it helps to reflect on key aspects of yourself to make the most of the process,” says Arch.
Even if you don’t have a crystal-clear picture of what you need from therapy—that’s OK. Simply exploring what you’re going through, what you might need, and the best way to approach it is a natural part of those early sessions. More often than not, a clearer understanding of your needs will emerge from this dialogue, shaping your path forward in ways you may not have anticipated. “I believe strongly in making informed decisions about your care and who you’re working with, and it’s okay to come to therapy not knowing exactly what you want to work on,” says Dr. Heidi Bausch-Ryan, clinic director at Care Counseling. “You and your therapist can work together to identify that and discover where you want to go.” That sense of connection is more than a bonus—it’s a critical part of what makes a therapist the right fit.
Doing The Work
Growth isn’t something that just happens to you—it’s a process you actively participate in. “One of the ways to prepare for therapy is to ask: What are you hoping to get out of it?” says Dr. John Brose, owner and clinical director at Associated Clinic of Psychology. He believes that the best therapy gets done when clients are really motivated to do the work to grow. When you’re ready to put time, energy, and effort into transformation that’s when things begin to shift.
“Gauge your readiness to invite changes into your life,” says Rannon Arch, director of co-occurring clinical services at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. “What is your willingness to explore new perspectives or make room to do work outside of sessions—like journaling or practicing coping skills?” Some forms of therapy are more structured than others, but all will require a real desire to create changes for yourself and putting in the effort to live a better life. “Come as you are and be willing to start somewhere, even if it is simply a willingness to show up for an appointment and have a dialogue with a provider,” adds Dr. Kelly Lindberg, vice president of mental health at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation.
Vibe Check: The Therapeutic Relationship
Feeling comfortable with your therapist is key. Stein emphasizes that your sessions ought to be a space where you feel safe to be completely honest, open up, and share your personal experiences candidly and safely.
“Sometimes, you won’t feel that way,” says Stein. “You’ve got to make sure you’re setting yourself up to be open and to go through the difficult work of unpacking—and if it doesn’t feel like you can do that because you’re guarded or uncomfortable, then it’s okay to ask for a referral.”
Stein and Bausch-Ryan note that the first few sessions involve a lot of information gathering, so they recommend sticking it out for at least a handful of sessions to see if things between you and the therapist start to click and gain some momentum. Finding the right therapist can take some time.
“It’s okay to try a number of different therapists. If it’s not working, try somebody else,” adds Dr. John Brose, of Associated Clinic of Psychology. “Finding a therapist is not like picking a physician or a dentist. You might see the dentist twice a year, but the therapist you’re going to see a couple times a month—and you’ve got to believe that they know what they’re doing and that they can help you.”
There’s a special balance you should aim to strike in the connection with your therapist. According to Brose, it shouldn’t feel like you’re friends because “that’s too chummy.” Rather, you should get the sense that they possess both the skills and the personality to not only help you open up but to push you and support you at the same time. “Hope is a powerful medication,” he adds.
“If you want somebody to really help you grow, there has to be engagement—I often call it charisma,” Brose explains. “It’s an art form.” While any therapist can provide a listening ear, only a good fit will connect with you and, in turn, productively support and challenge you. If the necessary qualities of the therapeutic relationship aren’t developing after a few sessions, it’s OK to move on. With the therapeutic relationship top of mind, you might also look into how a potential therapist practices—since each therapist brings different sets of tools and philosophies in their approach.
When to Consider an Inpatient Program
When you’re dealing with addiction, an eating disorder, or a severe mental health crisis, an inpatient program can provide necessary structure and special support. It can be helpful to get away from your usual circumstances, explains Dr. Kelly Lindberg, vice president of mental health at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. In an inpatient program, everyday habits and environmental triggers are reduced, while readily available support is increased. These programs allow for ample time to focus on your own well-being and are dedicated spaces for developing the skills and tools to better manage life’s challenges.
The ABCs of Therapy
Most groups, clinics, and private practices post provider bios on their websites. These can give you clues not only about a therapist’s personality but also about how they practice therapy and what they specialize in. Taken together, these details can help you decide whether they’re someone you’d feel comfortable working with—and whether they’re equipped to support your specific needs.
“A common myth is that all therapists practice all modalities of therapy, when actually a lot of therapists specialize—they practice in specific areas,” says Stein. From CBT to ACT and LPCCs to LMFTs, mental health is a field full of acronyms and specialization. Bausch-Ryan and Stein recommend looking into these acronyms and licenses when you see them and seeing if they feel relevant to you.
“They might use terminology like client-centered therapy, which means they are focused on you being the expert on your life, so that therapist’s approach is to help you come to your own understanding about things,” Bausch-Ryan explains. “Then they might use cognitive behavioral therapy to help build that inner awareness and understanding.”
Each therapist has a particular style in which they do therapy, and each calls upon specific schools of thought or evidence-based therapeutic models to help. Some of these practices require the therapist to complete additional education, training, and certification that could be relevant to your situation.
Take Their Word for It
Brose believes that it’s important to find an experienced therapist—especially someone with a background in treating the things you need support for. “In the mental health field, we sometimes say: ‘If you treated one patient, you treated one patient,’” he says. “Mental health is an occupation where you get better and better over time.” He adds that while not everyone has a PhD (which is fairly rare), a therapist with many years of experience is likely to provide high-quality care.
“Every therapist or treatment program offers a unique skill set and approach,” says Arch. So, choosing a provider with experience and expertise in the specific areas you’re seeking support for can also set you up for success with a therapist who is aligned with your unique needs.
Originally published in Mpls.St.Paul Magazine.