Many conversations about self-harm focus on warning signs, prevention, and treatment. Those discussions are essential. But what doesn’t get talked about as often is how visible scars can impact recovery from self-harm.
Living with self-harm scars can shape how you see yourself, how you show up in social spaces, and how you relate to a difficult chapter in your life.
For some young people, scars feel stigmatizing or shameful. For others, they feel like evidence of surviving depression and distress. Often, it’s a complex mix of both.
If you’re healing and still carrying visible reminders of times you’ve self-harmed, you’re not alone. Recovering from self-harm isn’t just about stopping the behavior, it’s also about rebuilding your relationship with yourself and your body.
What You’ll Learn
- Why do self-harm scars sometimes hinder recovery?
- How do scars impact body image?
- Can self-harm scars be empowering?
- How should you respond if someone asks about your self-harm scars?
Quick Read
Living with self-harm scars can affect self-perception and social interactions, and bring up feelings of both shame and pride. Recovery involves not just stopping self-harm behaviors but also rebuilding a positive relationship with oneself and one’s body.
Nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI) encompasses various forms of self-harm, and is often an unhealthy coping mechanism for emotional distress. While distinct from suicidal behavior, NSSI can increase the risk of suicide attempts.
Visible scars can hinder recovery by making body image issues and social anxiety worse, but there are ways to live with and accept self-harm scars. Strategies include choosing if and when to expose scars in public, reframing their significance, and seeking support to continue recovery and navigate relapses.
Understanding Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (NSSI)
Nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), the clinical name for self-harm, includes cutting, burning, or otherwise hurting oneself without suicidal intent. Other forms may include hitting, punching objects, pinching, picking excessively at scabs or other wounds, or ingesting harmful substances.
NSSI often begins in adolescence and is frequently impulsive. It’s often a response to an emotional trigger.
Self-Harm vs. Suicidal Behavior
Although NSSI is distinct from suicidal behavior, the two can overlap. Research shows that adolescents and young adults who engage in NSSI have a higher risk of suicide attempts.
However, these behaviors often serve different psychological purposes. Some people describe hurting themselves as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or even to stop themselves from attempting suicide.
Why Scars Are Sometimes Barriers to Recovery
Fortunately, therapy is an effective treatment approach for self-harm. A study of young people experiencing self-harm found that individual therapy led to an 82 percent reduction in these behaviors after treatment.
But even after healing begins, the scars can linger. Carrying the visible evidence of distress can lead to challenges with body image, social interactions, and intimacy, and can even trigger relapse.
Visible scars can also create body image issues, or make existing issues worse. You might find yourself worrying about whether people are staring and what they’re thinking. This can lead you to avoid activities that require baring more skin, like swimming or clothes shopping with friends.
7 Approaches for Living with Self-Harm Scars
If you or a loved one is working toward feeling more comfortable with self-harm scars, here are a few places to start.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Choose
Choosing whether to cover or show your self-harm scars is part of reclaiming bodily agency and autonomy. There is no single ideal or healthy option, and your decision may change depending on the setting, the season, or how you’re feeling that day.
You might choose to cover your scars because you don’t want to answer questions, you’re feeling vulnerable, or you just want privacy. Or you might choose not to cover them because you’re tired of hiding, you feel grounded enough to handle others’ reactions, or you don’t mind letting people see this part of your story.
Body confidence builds when your behaviors are intentional and aligned with where you are in your healing.
2. Reframe What Your Scars Represent
For some people, self-harm scars eventually shift in meaning. Your scars can represent a lot of things: sadness, perseverance, strength, growth, and reminders of all the times you lived through something overwhelming.
In one study, young people described their scars as shameful and stigmatizing, but also as proof that their depression was real. Scars can carry reminders of trauma, but they also represent survival.
You don’t have to see your scars in a positive light, but gently experimenting with new narratives can soften self-criticism over time. Eventually, you might view your scars as visible proof of the ways your life has changed.
3. Prepare for Public Situations
Certain situations and environments—like summer events, dating, gyms, or swimming— might feel stressful. Planning ahead can reduce anxiety. If you prefer coverage, breathable fabrics and layered options can help you stay physically comfortable.
If your scars will be visible to others, you might want to rehearse short responses in case someone comments, depending on what feels right to you:
- Set boundaries: “I’m not comfortable talking about that.”
- Be honest: “I’m recovering from self-harm.”
- Use humor: “Sorry, that’s classified information.”
4. Challenge Mind-Reading
It’s common to assume people are staring or judging, especially if you already feel self-conscious. When you anticipate negative reactions, your nervous system can stay in a heightened state of alert.
Gently question those assumptions. Even if someone does notice, noticing is not the same as condemning. They’re likely more curious than judgmental. Either way, remind yourself that their reaction to your body isn’t about you, and there’s nothing you need to do about it.
5. Navigate Communication and Intimacy on Your Own Terms
Intimacy can feel especially vulnerable when you have self-harm scars. Moving slowly and choosing whether or when to share your story can help you feel more in control.
Some people prefer to briefly explain their scars before becoming physically, platonically, or romantically intimate. Others wait and respond only if it comes up. Good friends and partners will prioritize your comfort over their curiosity.
6. Let Go of Shame
Society often misunderstands self-harm. The stereotype that self-injury is “attention seeking” persists. But most people engage in self-harm to cope with unbearable distress, and work hard to hide the behavior.
Breaking down internalized shame about self-harming is part of recovery. Self-injury is a coping mechanism for emotional pain, not a character flaw. Healing includes challenging the voices that say your scars make you weak, dramatic, or damaged.
Shame tends to grow in secrecy. Sharing your experience with a few emotionally safe people can reduce isolation and help you feel less alone.
7. Stay Connected to Support
Self-harm scars can sometimes trigger memories, shame, or renewed urges. If you notice those feelings coming up, reaching out for support is an important step.
Continuing therapy, strengthening coping tools, or revisiting a safety plan can help reinforce your recovery and prevent relapse. Remember that healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not a linear process.
PrairieCare’s Treatment Approach for Self-Harm and Body Image
If you or a loved one is self-harming or struggling with body image issues because of scarring, PrairieCare can help. Our experts will support you to uncover and heal underlying issues, like depression, anxiety, or trauma, and find self-understanding and self-acceptance.
Our experts help young people get to the root cause of mental health challenges. Each patient’s tailored treatment plan includes psychiatric care and medication management as needed, as well as group and individual therapy.
Call our team today at 952-826-8475 to learn more about our services throughout Minnesota. You can also request a complimentary care questionnaire using the button below.
FAQ
Why do self-harm scars make me feel depressed?
- Self-harm scars can be reminders of past trauma and difficult times in your life. Therapy and self-compassion can help you reframe your scars as symbols of resilience and survival.
How can seeing my scars affect my recovery from self-harm?
- Scars don’t have to be barriers to recovery. If your self-harm scars trigger urges, however, it’s essential to seek professional support so you can continue healing without risking relapse.
How do you support a friend with visible self-harm scars?
- If you know your friend is in recovery, be there to support them, without pushing them to talk about the scars or their healing process. If you notice self-harm scars, you can gently open a conversation by mentioning what you’ve seen and asking if everything’s okay and how you can help. If they are open to discussing treatment, you could volunteer to help them find a therapist or treatment program.
How are self-harm and suicidal behavior different?
- Self-harm is not a suicidal gesture; rather, people self-harm to cope with distress and overwhelming emotions. But people who self-harm are at higher risk for suicide attempts. That’s one reason why treatment is so important.
How do you treat self-harm scars?
- There are various medical approaches for minimizing self-harm scars. A plastic surgeon can provide scar assessment, diagnosis, and treatment.
Sources:
- Clin Child Psychol Psychiatry. 2024 Oct; 29(4): 1277–1295.
- JAMA Netw Open. 2013 Jul;6 (7): e2322069.
- Pediatrics. 2018 Apr;141(4): e20173517.