An LGBTQ-affirming space is an environment in which an LGBTQ+ child or teen feels they can truly be who they are, without fear of discrimination or prejudice. This affirming space can be a place, an individual, or a family. What matters is that it provides safety, support, and acceptance.
Why are LGBTQ+-affirming spaces so important? Because they have a powerful impact on young people’s mental health and well-being. In fact, having a home, workplace, or school that is affirming reduces suicide risk for LGBTQ+ young people, according to Trevor Project research.
6 Steps for Creating an LGBTQ+-Affirming Space
Below are some ways parents can help their LGBTQ+ children feel seen, heard, and supported by creating an affirming space.
1: Love them unconditionally.
First and foremost, the best way for parents to support their LGBTQ+ teen or young adult child is to show them, through both words and actions, that you love and accept them, and you will always be there for them no matter what, even if you may be struggling to understand what this new information all means.
Remember to celebrate their strengths, appreciate their uniqueness and self-expression, and let them know you will be walking beside them on their path even if it is hard for you at times.
2: Listen with empathy.
Working to understand and support your child’s journey in exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation doesn’t mean not talking about it with them.
In fact, a study by the Family Acceptance Project found that talking with youth respectfully about their LGBTQ+ identity, and openly and respectfully discussing LGBTQ+ issues with them, was associated with more than 40 percent lower odds of attempting suicide among cisgender LGBQ+ youth.
Ask your kids about their experience, listen actively with empathy, and validate how they feel. It’s okay to let them know that you might not have all the answers in some areas, but you are willing to learn alongside them.
3: Welcome their friends and community.
Navigating your teen or young adult child’s friendships and romantic relationships as a parent can be tricky, regardless of their gender identity and sexual orientation. But it’s important to work toward letting go of judgment or negativity, even if their new romantic interest or friend group isn’t what you imagined for them.
That said, some issues transcend sexuality or gender identity that are important for all parents to offer support on. So, don’t hesitate to speak up if you feel your child isn’t being treated respectfully or is in a toxic friendship or abusive relationship, regardless of who that person is.
4: Become an ally.
One of the most powerful ways you can support your child is to become an ally. What does it mean to be an ally? It doesn’t mean you need to go to the Pride Parade every year or have a Pride flag on your lawn. It can be simply recognizing when harm may be being done to LGBTQ+ youth, and showing up to help prevent that. In the Family Acceptance Project study, standing up for youth when they were being mistreated due to their LGBTQ+ identity was associated with significantly lower odds of attempting suicide.
Becoming an ally means actively supporting and advocating for your child’s well-being in all aspects of their life, including the aspects of their identity. It does not mean you need to be an expert on all aspects of the LGBTQ+ community, nor that you need to take a strong visible stance on these issues in the world in order to support your child. But understand that by taking on this role, you send a powerful message to your child that you are committed to their well-being and happiness, as well as that of those other children and people in the greater LGBTQ+ community.
Here are some ways to become an ally:
- Get to know the issues facing your child
- Be brave when you can. Speak up when you hear negativity or discrimination against them or others.
- Do your best to openly embrace your child’s authentic self among family and friend groups
- Work with educators to ensure your child’s school is providing a safe, inclusive environment
Remember, the journey of becoming an ally is ongoing, and can present new challenges along the way. As long as you continue to learn, grow, and remain open to feedback as the world evolves, you’ll gain trust and respect from your child and from their friends in the greater LGBTQ+ community.
5: Use the right pronouns.
If your child is using new pronouns or a new chosen name, it may not feel natural at first to use these. However, doing so is proven to support their well-being. Trevor Project research shows that trans and nonbinary youth whose pronouns are respected by the people they live with were half as likely to attempt suicide as those whose pronouns were not respected.
It’s okay for parents to feel some sadness, confusion, or even resistance to these changes. But don’t let those emotions keep you from supporting and understanding your child’s decisions and helping them move forward safely on this journey. And if you make a mistake with pronouns (known as misgendering) or call them by their old name, use this as an opportunity to show up and let the child know they are trying. Just correct yourself, offer a quick apology, and let them know you will try to do better next time.
6: Support your child to access mental healthcare if they need it.
Due to the stigma they often face, LGBTQ+ youth are vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and have a higher likelihood of contemplating and attempting suicide than their straight, cisgender peers. According to a recent Trevor Project survey, 84 percent of LGBTQ+ teens and young adults wanted mental healthcare, but only half of those were able to access it.
If your child needs mental health support, look for a therapist or psychiatric provider, outpatient program, or more intensive treatment program that provides culturally competent LGBTQ+ mental health services. If you’re unsure where to start, contact us for information about finding a therapist or treatment program.
How PrairieCare Supports LGBTQ+ Patients
With locations across Minnesota, PrairieCare provides a safe, affirming space for people of all ages to heal and feel empowered in their mental health. As a division of Newport Healthcare, we partner with the Trevor Project to provide specialized training to our staff around gender-affirming care.
With a full continuum of care, PrairieCare offers:
- Individual and group therapy using proven, evidence-based modalities
- Trauma-informed approaches to provide a safe environment that respects the unique history of patients
- Family therapy as needed to improve communication and trust so young people feel safe turning to parents and caretakers for support
- Gender-responsive care according to gender identity, including appropriate identification of patients in programming and in medical reporting
- Specialized programs that support patients at various life stages and acuity
Our team of mental health experts is here for you and your family. We help guide you through finding the proper care so you can focus on healing.
To get started, call our team at 952-826-8475 or learn more here. You can also request a no-cost mental health screening by clicking the button below and filling out the form on the right. Our team will then contact you within one business day to get started.
Sources
- Trevor Project Survey 2024
- Family Acceptance Project